The Dubious Dozen (#6 Nordland)

Nordland fig would be a great fruit if it were a cucumber. German? French? American? What is the real nature of this fig? Why is it so big, dense, and heavy? From where does it truly hail? And what is this fig doing in the green-skin, citric-berry flavor profile, given that it can equally ripen with simple sugar flavor and skin so dark that it was named Niagara Black in Canada? Is Nordland a light fig or a dark fig? A sugar fig or a berry fig? Nordland, aka, Longue d’Aout, Cucumber, Niagara Black… Also known as Melanza (eggplant). A chameleon creature of a fig, one of the most transmogrified. Is this a cucumber or an eggplant or a dark waterfall? It’s one badly confused fig. There’s no getting a handle on it. Nordland’s leaves are more ornate than most figs, especially as compared to the dull and sometimes misshapen look of its cucumber-like breba. Nordland is big, wide and long, dense of pulp, heavy, dangerous and menacing, like a grenade. More than reason enough to steer clear of this monster. That Nordland displays some of the most ornamental leaves in fig world seems pointed distraction. Nordland is a big bad brawny fig that will invade your gut with thick gobs of berry sugars. It will conquer your five senses and any good sense that you might have once thought you possessed before figs. Go ahead and eat Nordland and suffer your fate. There will be no mercy from this bulging beast of a fig.

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